Category Archives: Mental Heath

Unknown's avatar Laura 5:17 pm on April 15, 2019  

Late. Very uncomfortable

So I made it to my kids’ track meet. 45 minutes late this time.

It’s been a long couple weeks to begin with but my goodness I struggled to get here. Struggled to get out the door. Had to get gas. Drove faster than my comfort zone to get here. Don’t know where I’m going. Then I meet a train. Then I’m lost. Then there’s nowhere to park.

There’s no one here I know. Usually I have to toddler to be responsible for. Not here tonight.

I’m sitting alone and it’s 40 and windy and I’m so out of my happy place.

Positives. Positives. I have to find them.

First-I’m here.

Yeah, that’s all I got.

The train. (You know Siri said I was only a minute away. She was so wrong.)

I think my kid is somewhere in that group of boys in blue

Unknown's avatar Laura 9:47 am on March 28, 2019  

Mess of medication and side effects

Am I managing the anxiety and depression? Am I trying to control the ADHD?

Or am I just chasing symptoms with medication?

I’m a hot mess. How the hell am I supposed to put on my best face and successfully interview so I can get a job?!?

Unknown's avatar Laura 10:43 am on March 27, 2019
Tags:   

Grrr, my redhead.

My middle child. My favorite, actually. He’s a carbon copy of me. But I parent differently than my mother. (see previous posts 🙂 ) Therefore the fallout is different. And this one is a boy. He’s more likely a carbon copy of my uncle, which doesn’t necessarily bode well. But anyway…

And we argue. Oh, good lord, do we argue. Every day – please just wear a pair of jeans. You wear sweats every day. He hates jeans. Yea, me too. But I spent money on them and you look like a slob.

This picture was taken a week or so ago…gray on gray. Intentionally to irritate his mother – which is the only reason I got the kid to smile for the picture.

We argue about his chores. Wednesday is late start day. I hate late start day. It throws off everyone’s rhythm.

We argue about getting out of bed. Ok – so today the kid done good – LOL – he got me out of bed on time. But normally we argue about getting out of bed.

Grrrr. Boys. Teenagers. “Everything has to be proven to me” attitudes.

These are the days I want Baileys in my coffee.

Unknown's avatar Laura 4:19 pm on March 15, 2019  

I did it!

I love to shop. I used to go shopping once or twice a month – easily charging $500-$1000.

However, for at least 2 years, the anxiety is too much. Lights, noise, people – I’ve been lucky to stay in the mall an hour without leaving in a hot mess, digging for my Klonopin.

But today…had to get tennis shoes for my oldest. Over 4 hours, we shopped. I’m sooooo proud of myself. Progress. Baby steps.

Unknown's avatar Laura 2:06 pm on March 5, 2019  

Panic.

Panic panic. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Scurry hurry. Gotta get it done.

Get what done? Sure I could rattle off a to-do list but none of it is life pressing.

But I’ve been a panicked shaking mess for weeks. For what purpose? Stress. Yes, I know that.

I do have legitimate work I will be paid for. When I complete it. But I’m struggling to focus too. Can’t sit for more than an hour, than I need to get up, escape, find a chore or laundry to fold.

I was diagnosed ADHD over a year ago. I have no clue if these meds work as they should. The panic and the depression are so strong that my time periods of focused work are short, few, and far between.

Unknown's avatar Laura 5:48 pm on March 3, 2019
Tags: #suicideprevention, #teensuicideprevention   

Headlines that Make me Happy!

I just ran across this in my email, and shame on me for not posting it sooner.

Teen Suicide Prevention is one of my soapboxes. I don’t think we do enough – as parents of our kids, parents of our kid’s friends, the school system, State Law – both around Mental Health and Education – but anyway, let’s not get going on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Because this post is titled “Headlines that Make me Happy!” And there is legislation in the government to mandate topics for discussion.

https://www.kglonews.com/adding-suicide-prevention-to-required-class-for-iowa-high-schoolers/
article from Des Moines, adding Suicide Prevention to Health class

Is that the perfect answer? No. And I’m not stupid. A lot of that discussion is going to depend on the teacher. Some teachers will take their required 50 minutes or 120 minutes or whatever (if the bill passes), and do amazing good things with their kids. But it’s a start. It’s progress.

Progress means we aren’t stuck. And that’s a very good reason for this headline to make me happy!

Unknown's avatar Laura 12:37 pm on February 24, 2019  

Head down. Move forward.

Do you know how many times I’ve said this to people?

Do you know how hard it is to take your own advice?